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Burnt Out?

How do you take care of yourself? How do you ensure you’re at your best when you sit down to write? That your mind is clear, your creativity is flowing, and you’re physically able to tackle the work God’s given you?

Honestly? Those questions make me a little uncomfortable. I tend to have an eye-roll attitude when someone mentions self-care. Caring for our mind, body, and soul seems so obvious, doesn’t it?

Or does it?

I entered August completely burnt out, though I couldn’t have told you that at the time. The last eighteen months have taken a toll on all of us. I shrugged off the sense of malaise and kept moving forward, kept working at full speed, though my spark had diminished. Significantly. But it would come back, right?

In mid-September as a vacation planned a year ago approached, I wondered how in the world I could take a full week away from work. What would I do? Where would I find my sense of purpose? And… Who was I that I even asked myself that question? Since when was my purpose wrapped up in my work rather than in who I am as a child of God?

Maybe a little self-care was in order after all.

I walked away from work on a Friday morning and walked onto a beach at Lake Tahoe the next blustery morning. I stood – wind whipping my hair, waves lapping at my feet – awed by the glorious display. Instead of sitting at my desk, I walked. And walked. And walked. When the winds calmed, I paddled my kayak along the shore as I listened for the voice of God in the ripples of the water.

I breathed. Deep.

And slept.

I worked a jigsaw puzzle.

And read.

Mostly, I did nothing. For seven full days.

When was the last time you gave yourself – your mind, your body, your soul – space? When was the last time you stood awed by the grandeur of creation? By the Creator? When was the last time you were still?

My spark is back, but it didn’t just re-appear. Instead, I had to stop. Walk away. And allow God to restore me.

There is a reason God provided, commanded even, that we rest on the Sabbath. There is a reason His Word tells us to Be still and know that He is God. It’s so that we, as writers, might bear witness with our words to God’s goodness, to the One who will be exalted among the nations, and exalted in the earth (Psalm 46).

We must plan for rest, for stillness, for those things that nurture not only our mind, body, and soul, but also our creativity.

We must ready ourselves to write words that bring His message to a world in need.

Words For Writers

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The Ultimate Rejection

 

It was the ultimate rejection. One of my favorite authors read my manuscript and . . . hated it.

 

Actually, he didn’t just hate the novel I’d written, he really hated it. As in, he emailed me and wrote: “I hate this story.” There was no silver lining, nothing like “I hated the way it made me feel, but I’m grateful for what I learned.” Nope. He just plain hated it. He found the story implausible and the characters inane, or something like that. He had also checked the reviews of my other novels and found that something didn’t add up. He suggested that maybe it was just him.

 

Maybe.

 

Oh, wait, there was a sliver of silver. He read the manuscript before publication, meaning I could still make changes if I chose to. 

 

Then he withdrew his potential endorsement.

 

So what’s a writer to do when someone she respects disses her project? Crafting a 95,000-word manuscript is no small feat. It took months and months and, yes, months to write that novel. And it wasn’t my first go-around. I’d written three award-winning novels before that one. I had a strong sense of how to structure a novel that readers would enjoy and create characters they’d care about.

 

What did I do? I pouted and considered writing off one of my literary heroes. That lasted about 24 hours. Or was it 24 months? It’s hard to recall now. Then I decided to reevaluate my work. Not my entire body of work, not my career, though that was tempting, but that one manuscript. I suspected there was something I could learn from the best-selling author’s comments.

 

But before you deem me humble and wise, let me tell you this: the process wasn’t pretty. May I just leave it at that?

 

Okay, I’ll share one more snippet: there were, possibly, in the months that followed, several other industry professionals who also hated the manuscript. Namely acquisitions editors. But they’re such a subjective bunch, right?

 

Sigh.

 

When I was finally able to read the manuscript objectively, I noticed two things: (1) I didn’t really like my protagonist. She was underdeveloped and one-dimensional. And if I didn’t like her, how could I expect readers to care about her? (2) The metaphor I’d chosen was thin. It had great potential, but I hadn’t done my job fully developing it either.

 

What happened to the writer who knew how to structure a story and create likable characters? She realized she still had a lot to learn.

 

I’ve written two more novels since that author gave me the gift of respect through honesty. One of those two is a complete rewrite of the novel he hated. I dumped all 95,000 words and stared down a blank document one more time. Now Flames, my fourth published novel is, I believe, some of my best work.

 

I will fail again. I will face rejection again. I still have a lot to learn—will always have a lot to learn. As long as I’m writing, I hope to continue learning, growing, and stretching myself as a writer.

 

What about you?

 

How do you handle rejection?

 

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